and i'm leading it my way.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

I finally learnt that life is full of mostly downs than ups. Un-finished, infinity, never ending problems. Whats a mistake? Knowing that one do not like it and you did it or not knowing that one do not like it and you did it? I supposed a human being has infinity likings and dislikings. Who's able to name me all your likings and dislikings in just a day? Be it if you're able to do so, there'll be a new infinity likings and dislikings the next day. Was it me or him full of mistakes or was it just a purely un-intentional mistake? Nobody knows it better than me and he do. As for me, everything i did it wrongly was purely un-intentional, i swear. Below are some quote for my beloved boy:-
" Bi, for every mistake i've done, im remorseful. After all these fight everytime, i wanted so much to do an infinity time better for you. But just that i cant, i failed, i never succeed. I'm really sorry. For what i said in front of your face earlier on sometime, i dont mean a single thing. At time i'm just so pissed off for your attitude. I know words said can never be unsaid. Forgive me, actions speak louder than words. I swear while you're on the process of changing, i will change too... Without you, life will never be as sweet and happening as today. Hope we'll still go through all ups and downs together without giving up. Dont forget we'd been through a lot in order to have today, tomorrow and till the day we leave the world. I love you infinity! Thanks for being part of my life. Dont break my heart again okay? "

♥ 4:39 PM

Sunday, March 26, 2006

simply love ma current life. work's gettin lamer and lamer with each passin day. craps and stuffs. haven been much to blog bout coz I've hardly got da time. jus came back from photo shooting, "Navey Singapore Biathlon".. ask to take care of swimming n yea, I wet my jean BADLY! WTF, as if i urine. Weather not gd, raining. I'm lossing on countless weight due to my sickness, Jesus! Bt who cares? gettin headaches and heartpains about e pass issues pass few days. argh, i miss my gals way too much, cant wait to see em' again! jus saw wad he wrote, at time i feel i realli negleted him. so sorry, promised let's work hard for our future k. remember our dream/joke? " huh? how many rooms? sorry i dun live in rooms, i live in floor!

" Sometimes due to our busy schedule in life, u ought to forget e sweet n lovely time we had together. e effort we put in, n e problems we faced. but never mind, i'll be there anytime of e day to remind u, it's never easy for u n me right from e start n eventually, we succeed n never gave up coz, u know it, our luv is forever strong." from (me to u)

♥ 12:17 PM

Saturday, March 25, 2006

im PING & im contented with it.

anything sour or sickening, will NEVER be entertained or remembered in my life anymore!

but i love numb-ing myself.

♥ 2:14 AM

Friday, March 17, 2006

i was your confident.. a friend i thot i can trust but i was wrong.. u're just a fucking hyprocrite.. don't think i don't know wat u did behind my back. lol... i cant believe it! i bring myself to trust u so much n yet this is all i get in return. so much for everything.. with friends like u, who needs enemies? yeah, u should know who i'm refering too! currently at hm doing nth, rotting like some tuna ... he's still working.. well.. past few days were quite okay.. work & work + work! I realise that I woke up almost 11am every morning. Hahaha, anyway it isn't a gd sign as I will be late for work. At e moment, I'm waiting for bi to finish off work before he can come down to look for me. so tired, I should take a rest first.. ZzzzzZzzz

♥ 6:58 PM

Monday, March 13, 2006

Sometime i really can't believe how times flies. 3 years le. I still frequently get flashbacks of our "adventurous, cinematic". As if it was just yesterday. My gals really do amaze me with their personality (straight-forward). The way we met was extremely bizarre but we hit it off immediately anyways. I feel so lucky to have you gals once in my life to teach and guide me though my sparks and spicy time. Just wanna tell you, i really had lots of fun whenever we went out together for breakfast/lunch/dinner/supper. Hope you gals did too =P

Receive a letter from linda, below is the content inside:-
"Unpredictable" is the word to describe human being at times. Cause probably no one know what each others is thinking about. I almost forget, there is this company name "REN XIN NAN CE PTE LTD". HAHA, do you belong to this company as well? At time things may not turn out as what you expect but you still have to accept it. To accept it in a good or bad attitude is still up to you. As for me, i will accept it in a good attitude. Cause I'm someone who has been true to myself all this while, living in my own dreams, and i don't care what others say about me. People may say that I'm playful, rough, or even stringy but i simply don't give a dame cause i have my own reason for being like this.

I remember you as a very firm young lady but yet very delicate. Though you are straightforward but you are sincere towards your friend without beating round the bushes. All this words is out of my initial observation. I'm sure thru future interactions there's more goodness to be discovered. Don't think too much k. You know what i refering too. I believe you can get over with this matters soon. Do let me know if you need my accompany or my joke.

Somehow or rather i was touch after reading this letter. Really thanks to have u gals around me! Esp:- linda, jiemin, weili, lier, ke, janice & ect... ...

Anyway, thank for the sweet daisy.
Let me tell you what daisy symbolize k:- Daisy = Innocence, gentleness, loyal & passions... (jus like me ^^_) heehee...

♥ 4:11 PM

Sunday, March 12, 2006

THAT someone who may bring me hours of pain, yet a second of happiness he give would heal up all e wounds again. my darling boy - as long as he's by my side, nth else matters.. i can't help but to miss him although it has only been a weeks... :( i only look forward to his calls every moments. although pass few days we do hv some unhappiness/quarrel but everythings was sort it out. jus wanna SLEEP n wake up to realise he is by my side, if only tats possible. I REALLY MISS U MY DEAR :(
anyway, i've been wanting to get a dog for boy & myself. a one tat only belong to me & him. remembered we went to simei n e petshop? oh, all this was so sweet, jus can't keep on smiling to myself whenever i thought of him.

♥ 2:40 PM

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

well, it's all past lar. no point saying it after all, since it will never be fulfills in my life once again. i used to live life like a deity, but somehow, something pushed me down to hell. maybe i've chosen the wrong route in life. i shouldn't hv plain or set my expectation so high. maybe i guess, i'm born to have a screwed up life. sickness found me & quarrel occurs between us. wad would my life turn into without all my friends, family member & my luv one? i don't know? don't even dare to think hw long i can survive.
*where is those luv u once shower?* *those care u once showed me* *those hug u offen gave* & most important of all *those dream we use to hv?* my tear drop when he told me i draw e line clear! I DIDN'T! my heart sunk when he rise his voice. everything jus goes wrongly. i am no longer e berlinda u guy used to know. maybe i am e one changing.. MY LIFE IN MONO RIGHT NW

♥ 10:52 PM

Friday, March 03, 2006

i am fucking pekchek right nw. ppl are so stupid nwadays! everything also wan cheap. cheap go marketlor! stupid leg keeps getting numbed! argh... work half days today, and run over to uncle shop tosettle some staffs. Jus a couple of thoughts... have you guys wondered when was the last time yousaid you want to achieve something by blah blah blah time, and looking back now, are you still moving towards your goal? for me is a no, i've lost my drive and my motivation. it's quite a sad thing I would say, pretty lifeless right now. only hope i can drive me sale into e business. hubby,i'm so happy every minute spent with u! truely, madly, deeply! sometime u r so blur blur de, everytimemake me angry.. but nvm lar.. when r we going for holiday? i wan a break, but not kit-kat! pls, bringme to holiday, anywhere will do, as long as it's out of singapore.. fucking luv u yeah!

♥ 9:45 PM

Thursday, March 02, 2006

i miss my boy, yes! miss him badly. wondering wad he's doing right nw? sighs! currently at hm.. never went to uncle shop today, tired ba. the lack of confidence i hv in e past has worsen. i used to tot tat i was strong & ok in any ways, but after all i'm not. took my final report today, main cause came from heart! i was like WTF! i jus wanna live life with happinss & not with those stress & trobles i am nw. so sick of it. alright, financial crisis has got on to me too. *sighs* business isn’t doing any good. I’m currently helping up to caught up some sale. hope everythings went smoothly for me ba.

LOVED is better than HATED.
HAPPY is better than ANGRY.
FORGIVE and FORGET will be better.
I'll be sensible from now on.
I tried to control, I'll try to do eveything to make u =).
For who? Jus for u.

daddy told me this:-
u r always my gal n no matter hw sick u r, i'm always your daddy! nothingcan change the facts. take it easy and everythings shall be fine for u. i'm touch & i tearing......

♥ 7:38 PM

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Nothing much to say today.. Just a sentence E GAME IS NOT OVER YET!! Didn't meet up er & ke due to some problem but nvm, stay over at uncle shop till evening.. Meet up n solve all e problem. Was kinda of happy but sad and heart pain to see him like tat. But overall SWEET! Really need some courage to start all over again. Wish this won't waste all our effort n time to maintain it. Our sweet memories (how we started, how you hold me tight and whispered softly to me saying 'i love you') hope it won't be polluted by those bad memories. Wat i feel proud was I've given my best in this relationships n i realli do love him till e max. No regrets knowing him.

♥ 12:13 AM