and i'm leading it my way.

recently, erm... how should I phrase it?

Do I still love?
Yes, but I’m getting weaker, the more I ask the more answers I got the more disappointing I’m getting in the relationship. I’m simply too jealous & tired! I hope I wasn't like this all the time but things just keep getting back to me.

Do I still care?
Yes, but how much am I allow to care?

Where is my limit?
I don't want to find out yet I don't want to know so soon.

Are you thinking of ending it?
Yes, occasionally. Whenever, I lost confidence in myself!

Are you happy to be together?
Extremely!

Do you think he love you as much as you love him?
I don't have a certain answer. Even though he said he do but is that because of some other factors that make him love me now and not forever.

Are you ready for the change?
NO. I don't want to change... to the worst!

Do you want to know the truth?
Maybe.... Yes I want to know. But I scare I’ll tie more end knots that will present in me and in this relationship.

Will you accept the truth?
I won't know what is the truth! Can I choose to believe what I was told is real?

Do you think u are noob / newbie
I’m in a mature relationship like this. I couldn't differentiate at all!

Do you still want to be his side?
Maybe. I’m not sure! I don't know when is the right time to leave? Or should I ever think about it at all? Yes I want to be with him only if he’s e one for my rest of life!

♥ 11:11 PM

Sorry I haven’t been updating religiously! I think I lost the momentum to blog, Ha-ha! Wait till I find it and pics will be up, promise! (:
So.............
lately my life's been kind of hectic. A little bit of a rollercoaster ride, maybe. I finally found the courage to mend or face all problem, just a few weeks ago before I ask dad on how life going on for the past years, his reply SHOCK me up-side-down! Thank God that I’ve you once my daddy! Bcos dissolving tat kind of barrier or matters bet it’s really meant a lot to him. I cried my heart out whenever he remind me with his words, it really hurt me to know he had to go thru so much. I've been talking to people and thinking just as much, about how unpredictable and fragile life is. And I never could come up with a conclusion. Is it worth working damn hard for a future now, when you're not even sure you're guaranteed one? What if you die tomorrow but all yr life, you've never had fun or lived a life proper? How'd you define proper then?
Anyway, I’m a lot better these days. My emotions aren’t pulling me apart anymore and that’s good. Alright, I’ll update again soon, a lively post k! Later (:

♥ 2:37 PM

Do you let other people define your beauty or let it shown through your within?

After talking to didi, i felt much happier. Haiz, i guess only he, dad n a few more understand hw i really feel!

Madness, i was kind/stupid enough to let a few of my clients holding on to the payment term. Ended up losing 11k of the job! What's more i can do since they have already declear " Bankruptcy " . . .

Indeed bro make my day by sending me this 2 pic taken over at TAIWAN!

♥ 10:05 PM

Until the day if you face all the mistkes you've made,
you'll never change.
People can change, but they don't.
They just don't because it's easier not to! Haiz...

Don't waste time talking or asking me to do things. Cause talking to me is as good as talk to a,

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YES!
It's as good as a talking to e WALL.
So, don't ever bother.

♥ 9:59 PM

Nothing much to blog! But have you ppl heard about the 13 year old father? If not, please do so now. READ!
This is something new and shocking to me. Recalling back… When I was 13, what am I doing? Haiz, just imagine how scary kids are nowadays. My Goodness!

♥ 9:50 PM

What in the world are you thinking? Actions shows ignorance, words shows spike. Hit by such hard words worst to know its from you. Sometimes i hope my eyes can see through! Which is the real you? You got me all wrapped by with you slashing words with a hit, hit real hard and now i'm left there not knowing whats going on. Sometimes, you're unbelievable.

♥ 9:10 AM

I miss the past, i miss the way you used to dote me so much.
I miss your love that you once showered me.
I don't even know that things will be back that way...
Hoping and praying...

P.S: I miss the way you once love me.

♥ 10:06 PM

I'm so stress up by you, this few days.

I need the secure please! Giving up better or not ?

♥ 11:02 AM

I am so bloody stressed with my assignments! I haven’t been sleeping more than 5hrs for the past 2 days.
And I’m not even 20% done with the 2nd one!

♥ 10:58 AM

People don't jus come and go in my life. They leave me memorable memories. I remember everything lil bits of them.. Thanks

♥ 11:49 PM

Tonight...
My world came crashing down on me suddenly. Would you tell the truth if it would hurt someone close to you? Or would you rather shut up?

♥ 4:37 PM

Disappointment and Fatigue
I'm so disappointed and tired. Don't wish to talk about it now.
I'm now officially a time bomb that might detonate anytime.
Anyway, thing happened for a reason! No doubt i knew it was disturbing train of thought. Not just disturbing, but it was really nerve wracking .Sigh.

♥ 8:34 PM

I've been so strained and busy the last few weeks. Guess I'll won't hv any update on the stuff about the past week now, even though I'm supposed to do work instead. Just don't have the drive to, I've got too many thoughts running through my head.

♥ 10:38 PM