and i'm leading it my way.

Friday, August 29, 2008

To Him:

Sometimes when e sadness & angryness overwhelm me so much, tat i begin to feel numb.. It's like nv ending feeling of heartache.. E worst period of my life tat i hv to go thru n nw again it came..

Its all my fault, yes i caused everything. Be it; my attitude, my action, my tone, my words & etc... But i tried, i really did tried my very best & everything tat i could.. & sometimes.. i think it even exceed wad i normally could give! It seems tat u still turn ur back on me w all my this n tat but in actual fact we knew well on e problem occurs all e while..

Pointing at me on e one who hurt u first but i don't feel good at all.. At time, my life realli turn in a mess but i'm glad tat even if u r nt e one standing beside me i do hv my family member. I can't lead a normal life or freaking GOOD temper like u coz I've my own problem! I don't hv much time to waste, i don't wan to end up leaving regret in my life.

Telling myself be persistant n nt just give up like that ( on workz, on biz, on relationship or whatever ) & i'm amazed by my determination cuz i've never done so much before.. Frens been telling me nt to work so hard n slowly move on.. Ppl telling me things that i don't wish to hear ( she's hopeless, women need nt to work so hard, i doubt he's e 1 & etc... ) but i'm just too stubborn to listen..

But at times, i feel really tired. I repeatedly ask myself y, y am i doing this to myself, y i couldn't bear to let it go on all things? Am i hoping for something tat will nv come true? Should i just let go? R u jus playing some kinda games? It has been quite sometimes nw & i'm still left hanging there.. I don't know wad else can i still do or say other than being alone n try nt to speak so much.

♥ 4:55 PM

Thursday, August 28, 2008

As per request by 1 of my fav : er . . . here it goes . . .

- MORRRRE QUIZ -

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. XiuPing
2. Ping Er
3. Berlinda

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Shorty
2. PSP
3. Ah Mei

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My Smile
2. My Ass
3. My Eye

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My Height
2. My Baby Fats
3. My Hair

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Mum - Height
2. Mum - Hair
3. Mum - Figure

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Losing love ones
2. Sleepless night
3. Number, Accrual, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 etc . . .

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Cigarette Pouch
2. Handphone
3. Wallet

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW:
1. Top
2. Skirt
3. Jackets

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. Leong Li Er
2. Yang Ke En
3. Lin Wei Li
( trust me, this galz can sing dame freak well )

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW):
1. Yu Shui Wo Wen Ni ( Hokkien )
2. Wo Ke Yu
3. Sorry, Blame it on me ( Akon )

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Trust
2. Love
3. Commitment
( still got alot more, but this would be e 3 important 1 )

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Attitude
2. Personally
3. Overall

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Shopping
2. Sleeping
3. Slacking with family members or friends

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Holiday
2. My Honda Fit' 08
3. Earn More $ $ $

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED:
1. Own Boss
2. Tai Tai
3. Graphic Designer

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Japan
2. Bangkok (again)
3. Taiwan ( w my family members )

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Going on a holiday w my family
2. thus, nothing much liao. . .
3. realli, if possible tio toto . . .

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. I love MAN
2. I love being pamper
3. I love to doll myself up @ time

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE NOT STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. I talk bad words loudly plus laugh loudly
2. Sit w my leg open or lift up
3. I can sleep w/o bathing after work

THREE PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. Sharon ( Jie )
2. Wei Li
3. Ke Ke

hey, realli veri MORRRRE lei. . . sibei bo liao worz u!

♥ 5:01 PM

SHOULDNT IT BE THIS WAY?

BF's SHOULD DO.

☆~ When she stares at ur mouth = "Kiss her"
☆~ When she hits u like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than = "Let her beat n act painful"
☆~ When she starts cursing at u trying to act all tuff = "Kiss her n tell her u luv her"
☆~ When she's quiet = "Ask her what's wrong"
☆~ When she ignores u = "Give her ur attention"
☆~ When u see her at her worst = "Tell her she's beautiful"
☆~ When u see her start crying = "Just hold her n don't say a word"
☆~ When she steals ur favorite pillow = "Let her keep it n slp w it for a night"
☆~ When she doesn't answer for a long time = "Reassure her tat everything is okay"
☆~ When she looks at u w doubt = "Back yourself up"
☆~ When she says tat she likes u = "She really does more than u could understand!"
☆~ When she looks at u in ur eyes = "Don't look away until she does"
☆~ When she says it's over = "She still wants u to be hers"
☆~ When she reposts this = "She wants u to read it"

☆~ Stay on e phone w her even if she's not saying anything
☆~ Call her at 12:00am on her birthday/anniversary dates to tell her u luv her
☆~ Treat her like she's all tat matters to u
☆~ Stay up all night w her when she's sick
☆~ Watch her fav movie w her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid

my heart skips a beat when u told me is all my fault. well, u nv once at fault b4. holly GOD~ i realli dunno hw to put up w u when i did nth wrong at all. . .

i knew letting go is nv easy but holding onto someone who doesn't luv me or in e wrong track w me is even harder. sick n tired of life like this...

♥ 5:00 PM

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Fucking love this, don't u think it's COOL.

&

follow by this ( my fav, my dream, my desire )

I luv e above all...

going up jie house for dinner later on...
today topic :- ZHENG YI PO

♥ 4:34 PM

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Urgh!!

i hate emo people.

and now i am turning into one!!

this is wayy unacceptable!

i want my sunshine back =(

♥ 6:19 PM

Monday, August 25, 2008

last wkend we went roaming about in Orchard Road in the noon. wanted combed all the shopping malls in that stretch of road but we didn't. though we didnt even bought anything for ourselves from the session but gift for ah boy birthday still we really enjoyed ourselves to the fullest.. at least i do. we ended our Orchard trip with the 4Bia movie.. aint really wad i expected.. abit cruel to pay to scare ownself plus no storyboard.. hurhur but its tat day that im watching that make it memorable. =D

that ends my weekend. hence this wk gonna be a hectic wk to work!

♥ 11:18 AM

Thursday, August 21, 2008

hv u seen e barrier between us? speechless w e way he/she do things! advise ended up w getting back rubbish, quarrel, hurt & shit! i should hv learn: " dun even bother ", " none of my business ", " hack care " & etc. . .

firstly, i apologized w wad i say if it's hurt u. but if u hate me or can't take it, u can jolly well fxxk off from my blog. i don't need any unexpected guests to view it.

family member, friends, so call "brother" & etc . . again all bluff ppl de. when e hell i heard of interior designer earning like SGD$300.00? wahaha! cool man, joke of the year! rejected e offer ended up w this surprise when received e cheque w e amount of SGD$300.00 . . . LOL LOL LOL~ i think help me up w my graphic design better, at else also got a SGD$ 100.00 for a simple namecard design. not shock right, so when ppl comments on this u sibei buey song right? wad to do~ it's e true fact! u comment on me as well, so i'm just learning wad u've taught him la deh. biz worz, u think charity ma?

there's this ass comment about my tattoo. asking me at wad age i put etc... here's e answer hope it's help!

did my 1st tattoo when i was 15, frankly speaking, e reason y wanna do my 1st is to test my guts as well as hv a taste of how it feel being under the needles & friend jio me. for me, my life supposed to be given back to god when i was 13 due to some medical problems & accident but i have miracally survived. thus, i told myself not to live w regrets. i should do wat i wan as i wont know wat will be there for me the next day. as i said, i felt pretty relax during the tattoo session but the addiction nv falls on me hence u dun see me hving tattoo all over my body.

i am pretty contented with my life and the way i lead my life. even my parent become so supportive nowadays. i thank everyone who is there for me always. but if u r not, i'll also thanks u for being a KPO n pls leaving my blog!

i always remember these quote dad once said:

" . . . Before marriage, he make u happy. After marriage, he make u cry. N when u cry, he didn't bother anymore . . . "

♥ 5:35 PM

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Bad things always come in a row. It had been a hectic week for me! Work work work & work for days in a row before having hours of rest. Quarrel with ppl almost everyday about some unnecessary problems. Health hasnt been good.

Eyeing on these particular Limited Edition Louis Vuitton Damier Neverfull bag.

Alright, i know daddy & mummy is gonna hop around when they sees e price.
But but but but i love it!

♥ 2:57 PM

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I loathe my job.
Awfully unhappy nowadays. I want something that will make me smile again.

I want to be like how i used to be.
I want to do extreme things again.
maybe buy a plane ticket outta SG for a few days; alone. & speak of my plans in whispers so that no one can hear it. call home only when i've arrived in the foreigns.

She needs a new job.
So does she need a new life.
And she's gonna stop frowning behind her smiles from now on.

♥ 8:39 PM

Sunday, August 17, 2008

After going to linda's blog, saw her entry on the tarot card so i went to find out which tarot card i am.

You are the World (Universe)

Completion, Good Reward.

The World is the final card of the Major Arcana, and as such represents saturnian energies, time, and completion.

The World card pictures a dancer in a Yoni (sometimes made of laurel leaves). The Yoni symbolizes the great Mother, the cervix through which everything is born, and also the doorway to the next life after death. It is indicative of a complete circle. Everything is finally coming together, successfully and at last. You will get that Ph.D. you've been working for years to complete, graduate at long last, marry after a long engagement, or finish that huge project. This card is not for little ends, but for big ones, important ones, ones that come with well earned cheers and acknowledgements. Your hard work, knowledge, wisdom, patience, etc, will absolutely pay-off; you've done everything right.

Anyone think tat every marriage is a gamble? Ex bf may fote on u & treated u well during courtship & changed to another person after marriage or vice versa or nt change. Whatever it is, i'll leave it to fate~

♥ 3:28 PM

Saturday, August 16, 2008

friends come and go. e initial stages of friendship may appear bright n fruitful. but e true test of friendship lies in time. if time does it pass as e days of sprouting white hair surfaces, we'll learn who r e ones tat will stick by us, no matter what.

some may appear trememdously helpful n possess e best personality at e beginning, but their true intentions will neva surface until time passes by. we live in a world of sins, lies n deceit, corruption and favouritism. people do things for a reason - mostly for self-benefits. never trust until trust is earned and built up for trust is like a delicate flower which may wilt as fast as it blooms.

here's to my best friend - if there is one but nt onli one... for being someone who has earned my trust till trust itself gets in the way. thanx for listening, comforting, protecting, caring n supporting me. [ u gals noe who u r, those whom i knew when we'll kiddy timz ]

♥ 11:24 AM

simply had a fruitful day yesterday. erm.. went to catch a movie w family & buddy, we went all the way to tampinese mall since it's nearer to auntie low house.. during e journey, we'll in jiefu car chit chatting & making fun of mummy.. [ ahhaha ] well, managed to get finish e show even tot i was tired & disappointed w someone.. but BUt BUtbUBuT! i remember once he told me, dun let other tat r nt so important to spoilt ur mood for e day~ *duhs*

question : when people are mean n begin doing nasty things to u... will u retaliate, or just laugh it off?

answer : -_-" pls advise . . .

jie said i change alot.. past i'll jus fxxk her upside down n tat itz.. but nwaday i try to learn, learn to accept e true facts n friends! haiz -

♥ 4:05 AM

Thursday, August 14, 2008

" Why are we scared to die? Do any of us remember being scared when we were born? " wad a good one, overheard this sentence from kelly!

meet up with friends and family for e past wk.. went for dinner, gathering, shopping, working, erm.. stoning.. *gRins* my ke lian buddy got into big trouble.. headache for her too.. but gal, remember i'll always be there for u no matter wad happen!

someone told me a philosophy the other day... about man and woman, which started my mind spinning.

when a man is married to his wife - he sees her as a responsibility.
when a man has a lover - he is with her because he loves her.

would you choose to be his wife or his lover then?

if you're his wife - he'll take care of u and be with you because he is bounded by the law and oathe to remain by your side "in sickness and in health for as long as death comes". he is the figure u can pin on with faith that he'll never leave u nor forsake u, because that is the committment that comes with the marriage bond.

if you're his lover - he'll love u with all the passion on earth, everyday will be a new chapter of romance, every single minute that u are with him, u obtain the full satisfaction of him loving and cherishing the time spent with u. he is with you because he loves u, not committment nor responsibility nor a helpless bond that ties u with him. that is his choice and he has chosen to share his love with u.

is this the new ideology of the modern century? that marriage is viewed as a savagery plight that only pins a man and a woman down. that besides all the past historical views of the maritual rites, it is now de-valued and insignificant.

the marriage will still prevail - with offsprings and a traditional route of customary descent by the patriachal route...

but behind all of such liberal acts of faith based upon the bonds of the family ties, is an empty vessel containing nothing but the term - responsibility.

♥ 5:12 PM

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Stupid Olympic Freaking Tired

i wanna complaint abt the Olympic.. it's damn sickening la! showing it all day long and like cancel all the night programmers to show Olympic! like wth? not everybody likes watching it ok! but then, it's still entertain my daddy all night. aiyo, pls be considerate to those who dun watch.. LIKE ME! Every channel i switch is all abt that.. only channel 8 is not showing it at night.. but i dun realli like the programmes in channel 8! I always spend my night watching channel u! I'm so fed up that i can't watched Jacky Wu's Guess Show on Sat, and my Fear Factor and Solitary on Sun!! And i guess they r gonna cancel my 娱乐百分百 that repeat at night too!! Pls freaking go n create a new channel out for the Olympic n not cancelling the usual programmes.. THIS IS SO IRRITATING!!!!

wkend : meet up w buddy & jie plus ah bin! went to see Money Not Enough 2.. was feeling sad for her encounter! if only i can, i'll kick him up-side-down!!!

mon : was at hm celebrating dad's birthday.. it was fun! so many ppl came.. BUT I WAS FREAKING TIRED! n gd new, i hv finish clearing mum's debts.. hence, i left with only her bank loan nia! A pictures taken w dad n sis.. will post those pic when i transfer it to my com..

♥ 4:19 PM

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Jus woke up from my 8-millions sleep!

Gotta continue w it again after bath.. I'm going to strike e 8m toto tomorrow.. Wooh.. My 1st time buying ToTo & guess wad Ah bin actualli brought me there n teach me hw to draw... Q was long! Nothing much, morning went over to P&G n headed to workz.. I miss daddy, mummy, jiejie & didi...

Hmmm, waiting for my hair cut on SAT.. Movie, sport etc.. Jie will be e one organizing all these.. Plus dad birthday is around e concer, headache wad should i buy for him?

♥ 10:40 PM

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

ARGH ! ! ! PAIN, PAIN & PAIN IS E ONLI WORDS TO DESCRIBE MY FEELING NW~
jie jio for facial after workz.. n this is hw i look like after e whole session! but veri soon, i am going to be a pretty ger! haha, after so long i finally decided to take off all those extras out from my face. PAIN was e only words to describe today facial but overall still worth it! relationship between me, jie & jiefu are getting better n better.. thumbs up for this meimei, i luv they 2.. n nt forgetting e one always showing his care n concern supporting me w all my decision~

♥ 11:55 PM

Friday, August 01, 2008

Happy Birthday To My Beloved DiDi Ah Hao . . .

Gotta continue w my accrual this few days. Meeting up with jie n ah bin for mahjong later on.. Totally annoyed with the blackie at work. Made a big hooha over nothing and spoilt my day. Just what is her effin' problem?! (One word: Bitch.) Next up; back to the housework when i reach hm.

Today's the 1st day of the annual chinese 7th month.
Are you afraid of the dark?

♥ 2:00 PM